Blog, Family Worship

What Do I Do When the Church is Closed?

With limited crowd sizes and shelter-in-place orders going into effect, you may end up feeling isolated—not only from other people but also from the church. Many churches are rightly following the recommendation of the Health Department and reducing their meeting sizes as well. This is pushing most churches to find new ways to worship and engage people at an individual level. 

Thankfully, there is a tried and true method that has been around since the beginning of time to teach discipleship in small groups—it’s called “Family Worship.” Before there was an “organized” church—before there were “in-home” churches like we think of today—there was the original home church, family worship. Family worship is simply when your family gathers together at a specific time to worship—to learn about and focus on God. This time is used to grow your family in the grace and knowledge of the Lord (2 Peter 3:18). Family worship is not complex. It doesn’t require a doctorate, ordination, a high school diploma, or even an extended period of time. All it takes is commitment. 

Barna Research has found that 85 percent of parents with children under age thirteen “believe they have the primary responsibility for teaching their children about religious beliefs and spiritual matters.”[1] However, “a majority of parents do not spend any time during a typical week discussing religious matters or studying religious materials with their children… Parents generally rely upon their church to do all of the religious training their children will receive.”[2] What does this mean? Most people know that they should do, but are not doing it. 

I want to offer a few sections below that deal with some background on Family Worship. If you would like to skip this and get right into what you need to do, skip to the section titled “Practicing Family Worship Today.”

Family Worship in the Bible

Family worship begins in the beginning. In Genesis 3:3-5, both Cain and Able brought an offering to God. How did they know that they were to worship God through offerings? Their parents taught them. Even from the beginning, parents were leading and teaching their children the proper way to follow God, privately, in their home. 

God instructed Abraham to “command his children” to “keep the way of the Lord” (Genesis 18:19). Not only had God chosen Abraham (and his descendants) to follow Him, but God also had chosen Abraham (and his descendants) to teach his (their) children to follow God. One generation teaching the next generation the ways of the Lord.

This instruction was “chiseled in stone” when God instructed Moses to call the people together, that they would “hear My words, so that they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth and may instruct their children” (Deuteronomy 4:9-10). More directly, God, in Deuteronomy 6:6-7, said, “These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Parents are called to teach their children to follow God. 

The idea that parents should lead their families to worship God continues throughout the Old Testament and on into the New Testament (NT).[3] The most well known NT passage is probably Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Father’s (parents) are to use their parental authority to encourage their children to be faithful to God.

The Importance of Family Worship

Voddie Bacham, Dean of Theology at African Christian University, wrote, “If I teach my son to keep his eye on the ball but fail to teach him to keep his eyes on Christ, I have failed as a father. We must refuse to allow trivial, temporal pursuits to interfere with the main thing.”[4] A parent’s number one priority in life is to teach their children to follow Jesus. 

The prince of preachers, Charles Spurgeon, spoke to the issue of family worship. He said, 

Brethren, I wish it were more common, I wish it were universal, with all [Christians] to have family prayer…. In many, very many cases, I fear there is such a neglect of family worship that it’s not probable that the children are at all impressed by any piety supposed to be possessed by their parents.[5]

The argument could be summarized this way: if it is important to the parents, it will be important to their children. Matthew Henry, the Welsh minister and commentary author, offers an encouragement to persist in family worship.

I know that you cannot give grace to your children, nor is a religious life always the result of a religious education; …but if you make conscience of doing your duty by family-instruction, if you teach them the good in the right way, and warned them of by-paths; if you reprove, exhort and encourage them as there is occasion; if you pray with them, and for them, and set them a good example, and consult their souls’ welfare in your our arrangements for them, you have done your part, and make comfortably leave the issue and success with God. [6]

Our duty is to teach and train our children, it is at God’s pleasure to save them. 

Early Family Worship

Scripture is packed with the command for parents to lead family worship with their children, but what does it look like? There is a fantastic description of how primitive Christians practiced worship with their families: “At an early hour in the morning the family was assembled, when a portion of the Scriptures was read from the Old Testament, which was followed by a hymn and a prayer, in which thanks were offered up to the Almighty.”[7]

In the second century, the church historian Tertullian [142-220 A.D.] wrote a letter titled Ad uxorem (to my wife), in which he describes the vital role family worship plays in the spiritual development of a family. Read his beautiful description of what family worship would look like:

They pray together, they worship together, they fast together; instructing one another, encouraging one another, strengthening one another…they perform their daily exercises of piety without hindrance. Psalms and hymns they sing to one another, striving to see which one of them will chant more beautifully the praises of their Lord. Hearing and seeing this, Christ rejoices.[8]

This description is both encouraging and challenging. It paints a beautiful picture of family worship in which family members are spurring each other on to greater levels of holiness. It also challenges families today to take up theses critical spiritual practices.

Practicing Family Worship Today

How do you practice family worship today? If your family worship time looks like a typical Sunday school class or Sunday morning worship, you are doing it wrong. Family worship should be simple (and it can also be short). Most families get bogged down and quit family worship because they think that they need to spend 30 minutes or more each time they gather—it can be a short as just a few minutes. Some mornings/nights might take a long time (because there are questions or discussions), but most can be done in 10 minutes or less. Truthfully, the amount of time you spend depends more on whether or not your family asks questions or has lengthy discussions.

Let me offer you a simple guide. 

Prayer

This one is almost a no brainer—praying together as a family is vital to the life of the family. We are talking about prayer at times other than at meals. First, prayer should be brief and simple. There is no need to try and impress your wife and kids. What will really impress them is your sincerity. Second, be direct in your prayers. If you, or one of your family members, are struggling with something going on in your life pray about it specifically. Pray out loud and by name for your children to be blessed by God. Third, vary the types of prayers you pray—use the A.C.T.S of Prayer (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication) as you pray. Finally, keep an up to date prayer list. You might use a notebook or note cards with requests written down on them. As your prayers are answered, write that down too! It will be an incredible way for your family to look at the faithfulness of God across the years. 

Singing

Singing is the element of family worship where I usually get the most push back. However, singing together is not only scriptural (Ephesians 5:19), it is also greatly beneficial. How many times have you been listening to the radio, driving down the highway, and your family’s song starts to play? You know what I’m talking about, right? The song which causes the driver to crank up the radio while the whole family sings along at the top of their lungs. Your family is already singing together, why not sing together to the glory of God. 

Singing is beneficial for two reasons: (1) it brings the family closer together, and (2) we remember songs better than almost anything else. If you want your family to grow closer, if you want your family to have the deep truths of God chiseled into their souls, singing about the characteristics of God in song will work like nothing else. 

If you or another family member is musically gifted, consider occasionally using that during your family worship time. Otherwise, you can sing acapella or assist by online sources.[9] It might be good for your family to get a few hymnbooks—these can be found online or sometimes churches will have extra ones that they will give you. If you are using online sources, consider using your smart TV, phone, tablet, or computer to play and sing along.

Let me tell you upfront, it will be awkward at first—but what isn’t? When I was learning to ride a bike it felt weird, I didn’t know how to balance, I fell off and skinned my knee several times, I didn’t know how to use the brakes, and one time I just ran straight into the side of the barn. It was not the most pleasant experience at first. However, as I continued to practice it got easier and more comfortable. Please don’t give up on singing because it is a little awkward at first. And, if you are not a great singer, lean into it. There is no verse in the Bible that says your singing has to be good. When your family sees and hears you worshipping God, even if you are a terrible singer, it will show them how important it is to you.

Bible Reading

This one is probably the most obvious. Read some verses from the Bible—any verses. You might pick a book and read it paragraph by paragraph. You might find a reading plan online or in a book. Or, you might come up with your own way of finding scripture. Whatever it is read it, or have one of your family members read it. After reading the passage, ask these questions: 

  • Does anyone have a question about what we just read?
  • What does this passage teach us about God? 
  • What does this passage teach us about ourselves (or humanity)?
  • What does this passage tell us that we should be doing?
  • What does this passage tell us that we should avoid doing? 

It doesn’t matter how much of the Bible you read in one sitting, what does matter is that you have some Bible every day. The Grand Canyon was carved one drop of water at a time. The impact of each small gathering of your family, over time, will have a lasting impact on your family members. 

One final thought about Bible reading—consider having a family memory verse. You can try and learn a verse each week, every other week, or each month. Memorizing scripture together is a fun way to hide God’s word in your heart. 

How Do You Start Family Worship? 

So, how do you start family worship? First, let your family know that you are going to start doing it. Maybe you haven’t done this before, maybe you haven’t done it in a while, or maybe you have only done it sporadically—whatever the case, tell them that it is going to be something that you plan to do daily. The time of day that you do it may change because of your schedule, but you should aim to do it every day. I know some families who have switched it from an evening to the morning because they had something going on that night. Another family had family worship in their van on the way home from a late-night baseball game. If they can do that, you can do it, too! 

Second, put it on the calendar. Putting it on the calendar not only carves that time out in your schedule, but it also sends the message to your family that it is important. Only the important things that you don’t want to miss go on the calendar. If you schedule a time for family worship, you will not flood your time with other things. Also, if you think that you will just do it in your “free time” in the evening, you won’t. I’m not saying that to be mean, but I have observed that it just won’t happen. Just go ahead and schedule it. 

Finally, lean into the awkwardness. It will defiantly be awkward at first. Just point it out. Tell your family “This will feel weird, it will be awkward, but it will be good for our family, so let’s stick with it.” Also, tell them what the time will look like. Some samples of what it might look like will be at the bottom. 

Final Thoughts

Let me give you some final thoughts, bullet-style:

  • Family Worship is for every day, not just for quarantine. 
  • If your whole family can’t make it because one kid is somewhere else, just pull together everyone who is available. 
  • If you don’t have children at home, have family worship with just your spouse. 
  • If they ask a question you can’t answer, say “I don’t know. I will look it up and find the answer.” Or, “Let’s look it up together.”
  • It won’t be perfect—it doesn’t need to be. One family had a very fussy two-year-old—they busted out laughing when he loudly passed gas! The father quickly prayed and ended their time. 
  • Consistency is more important than perfection. One day you might not sing, or read scripture, maybe you only pray; that’s fine. Just do something.

You can do this, start today! I will be praying that God will give you the courage and perseverance you need to begin and continue family worship. 

A Family Worship Example

Here is an example of what a simple and short time of family worship might look like (~3 minutes). Notice that you don’t need to use a devotion book. It is just reading scripture.

Read

Philippians 1:20-21

ASK

What does this passage teach us about our relationship with God? 

(Wait for a response before you share your insight).

SING—The first verse of “Lord, Be Glorified”

In my life, Lord, be glorified, be glorified. 

In my life, Lord, be glorified today.

(Repeat as desired)

Pray

Heavenly Father, oh that you would be glorified in our lives in the way that we speak, act and treat others and each other. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

CLICK HERE—FOR A ONE MONTH FAMILY WORSHIP GUIDE

CLICK HERE—FOR LINKS TO OTHER SITES THAT MIGHT HELP WITH FAMILY WORSHIP

Bibliography

[1] Barna Research Group, “Parents Accept Responsibility for Their Child’s Spiritual Development but Struggle with Effectiveness,” May 6, 2003, https://www.barna.com/research/ parents-accept-responsibility-for-their-childs-spiritual-development-but-struggle-with- effectiveness/.

[2] Ibid.

[3] Dt 6:20-25; Ps 78:1-8; Pr 1:8-9; 22:6; 1 Tim 3:4-5, 12; 2 Tim 1:5; 3 Jn 4.

[4] Voddie Baucham. Family Driven Faith: Doing What It Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Walk with God (Wheaton: Crossway, 2007), 22.

[5] C. H. Spurgeon, “A Pastoral Visit,” Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit, vol. 54, (London: Passmore and Alabaster, 1908; reprint, Pasadena, Tex.: Pilgrim Publications, 1978), 362-363. 

[6] Matthew Henry, A Church in the House or Family Religion (New York: American Tract Society, 1824), 24.

[7] Lyman Coleman, The Antiquities of the Christian Church (New York: Baker and Scribner, 1846), 375-376. See also, The Scottish Christian Herald: Conducted Under the Superintendence of Minsters and Members of the Established Church, vol 2, (Edinburgh: John Johnstone, 1846), 260.

[8] Tertullian, “Ad uxorem,” accessed March 24, 2020,  http://www.tertullian.org/works/ad_uxorem.htm.

[9] There are a variety of online sources that can be used—Click on the link, or, copy and paste this link in your browser, for a list of resources: http://www.fbcversailles.com/?p=596